Spanish lessons

I've wanted to learn Spanish for years, and "learning Spanish" has been on my perpetual "to do" list. Choosing to adopt from Guatemala is only accelerating my desire to take action now.

Knowing Spanish will help me talk with my child's earliest caregivers. Some people may not choose to stay in touch with their children's foster parents. I know myself well enough to know that I will want to remain in touch with them through the years.

I want to create a bilingual home, and Spanish seems like a natural fit in today's society. Living in Phoenix will provide lots of opportunities for me to practice my language skills.

I've been researching ways to learn Spanish as an adult. No program seemed to be a good fit for me. University conversational Spanish classes seemed to take too long. One company offers small group learning but it's based on their curriculum and schedule.

Nothing felt right until today when I spoke with Debisu Hyde from Thunderbird. They provide a customized, individual instruction program that just might be perfect for me.

She asked why I was interested in learning Spanish. I explained that I have dual purposes for learning. I know being bilingual in Spanish provides more business opportunities for me. I also told her about my adoption plan. She was thrilled for me, and we ended up talking for almost 30 minutes. She was a single parent for 8 years and knows the ups & downs of being a single mom.

What a blessing she was! Her warmth and encouragement felt sincere and affirming. When we hung up after our conversation, I felt like I had made a new friend!

She's sending more info to me via email. I can't wait to get it!

Male reactions - dating and friends

Betsy mentioned that it would be interesting to hear about reactions of guys when I tell them I'm adopting. My guy friends have definitely reacted differently than "potential date" guys.

Guy friends are pretty much in favor of adoption and believe I'll be a great mom. One guy friend volunteered to be a donor if I wanted to have a baby physically as long as it was a natural conception with lots of practice - LOL

One guy friend thought that adoption was my second choice (as in "I don't want you to settle for a second choice when you really want to be married and have children physically"). I quickly explained to him that I had thought about adoption since I was a kid; now he doesn't see my decision as a second choice at all.

This weekend I had a free four days on an online Christian dating site. I responded to a few emails and mentioned that I was adopting to the guys.

One guy's reply was the classic "why would you do that when you're young & you can still have children of your own?" [so when I adopt, I'm just borrowing her? give me a break!]

Two guys were great.... One's response was "I am excited hearing that you are about to adopt a child from Guatemala. That is one of the most precious and commendable things anyone can do. Giving a child a better life is so praiseworthy! God has a special place in heaven for you! I hope the process goes well for you and my prayer is that it does. Please keep me informed." He works as a counselor in marriage & family therapy so he probably sees a lot of messed up domestic situations.

The other guy emailed, "Wow! Adopting parents are sorely needed. You are an angel."

I'm not an angel, and I am not looking for a special place in heaven. However, I was glad that it wasn't a deterrent. Okay, maybe it was a deterrent for the guy who thinks I ought to have a "child of my own" but that's his problem. He's still emailing me so I prefer to think it isn't a problem at this time.

I am going to have a child of my own - a beautiful, happy, healthy baby girl from Guatemala!

Weirdness and Rightness

Today was definitely an odd day! I spent six hours with a client, and we went to a bridal fair. Yep, I can honestly say a bridal fair would have been my last choice for how to spend a Sunday afternoon (especially when the NFL playoffs are underway). But, this client is interested in starting a mobile manicure business (email mobile.manicures@hotmail.com for more info). She wants to do bridal parties, bachelorette parties, showers, etc.

I pretended to be the bride today. For the most part, it was fun. NO ONE asked about the groom or where he was. Some forms had a groom name so I made up one (tee-hee!). When the vendors asked me about a wedding date, I said honestly, "I don't know and I'm not sure" It was easy to tell them that as I get older, the number of bridesmaids and number of guests keeps going down! lol

What was weird? Talking with several of the announcement booth vendors prompted me to consider doing pre-adoption announcements. I got a couple of strange looks when I said I was adopting and was interested in knowing if they did anything other than wedding announcements.

What felt right? Having fun with my client. Helping her get more excited about a new business venture. Thinking about my future wedding because I do believe I'll marry someday.

Honestly, I don't know when I'll date someone exclusively again.... much less feel prepared to marry a man. I'm still not sure that I'm recovered from Mr. ANQ (Almost Not Quite). I'm definitely better off that I didn't continue dating the guy I was seeing a year ago.

This week I connected with some other SAMC (single adoptive moms by choice). Maybe we need to create a club....

Outside of my circle of influence

I've been looking at the timetable in my planner. It may take 2-4 months for a referral for a baby girl, and it will be another 6-8 months to complete the Guatemala legal process.

Maybe I need to stop thinking she will come home in 2007...

Okay.... (deep breathing)

Those of you who know me well know that I have a saying about managing what is inside my control and letting go of what is outside my control. I love drawing circles in the air around me for what is inside my control...

What is inside my circle I will do with a happy heart. What is outside my control (timing of when she comes home) is outside my circle and I have to let it go.

She will be home when she's home

And away we go!

My agency received my legal agreement and first payment today. Right after my FedEx email saying the payment was delivered, another email was waiting to be read. The email had a link to my adoption planner with a master checklist, steps to complete, etc.

It's easy to see that I have a lot to do. It's also helpful to have it laid out in order so I can stay focused and on track.

A requirement for submitting the I-600A form is my birth certificate. I have a copy, but I'm not 100% sure it's a copy that the government will accept. I'd rather be safe than delayed so I ordered three more copies of my birth certificate. With any luck at all, it will be here within a week and I can submit the I-600A.

My agency says it takes 3-4 months to process the I-600A. I just want to get it filed as soon as possible because of this looming Hague situation.

FedEx will help create my family

Sometimes it's the logistics that you have to take care of before you can get to the fun stuff!

Several years ago I set up a FedEx account for my business. I didn't use it very much so it went dormant. Today I reactivated it with a little help from Chris in Revenue Services (good grief, what a phrase to use! Reminds me of the IRS)

Anyway, what's important is that I'm all set for lots of future mailings. Good thing since I have my agency agreement and first check ready to go!

Let the fun begin!

My 2007 Wish List

One of my girlfriends told me that her daughters had given her a magic wand for Christmas. She asked me what I wanted to wish for in 2007 so I told her

I wish for....

a beautiful, happy, healthy baby girl from Guatemala to become my daughter

a fabulous man to fall in love with me, cherish our time together, and love my daughter

more consulting clients than I can handle so that I have a waiting list and a referrals list to send clients to other people