I'm here & it feels surreal!

Just arrived in Guatemala! It's amazing to actually be here. Not sure what to expect or what will happen over the next few days.

Everywhere I turned in the last few weeks, I met someone who has adopted or who knows someone who adopted from Guatemala. It also seems like everywhere I go, I see a family with Guatemalan children.

More tomorrow after we visit Antigua

Expectant parent? whoops!

I'm in the process of applying for independent medical coverage. One of the questions asks if you're an expectant parent. If you are, you're automatically not eligible for coverage. (I won't even go into the woeful state of US healthcare)

What's funny is that I chose "no" on my on-line application. When I went to print it for my records, it showed a "yes" answer. When I saw the "wrong" answer on the application, I had to laugh loudly! After all, I am an expectant parent.... just not medically expectant.

I had to fax them a written statement saying that I'm not pregnant.

Guess we'll see what happens next....

I leave for Guatemala on Sunday. Doesn't seem quite possible yet.

Part of me is thrilled. Part of me is really nervous.

I don't know how long I'll stay in Guatemala. I have to admit that I'm giddy thinking about not having a specific time to return. I don't know if I've ever been on holiday without having a job or a project or a deadline waiting for my return.

Hasta luego if I'm not online again before leaving...

Feeling discouraged

Okay...

Today is not an easy day to be waiting on divine peace.

I read some updates on the various Guatemalan adoption sites like Guatadopt.com and the US State Department.

Depressing

Today I am afraid that I will go to Guatemala, know that I want to adopt children from Guatemala, and then won't be able to do it.

Waiting isn't easy right now. Trusting it will work out isn't easy.

Survival Spanish

Hola!

In two weeks, I'll be in Guatemala. My attempts to learn some survival Spanish have not resulted in any confidence that I could converse with anyone besides a "hello! how are you?"

I'm still excited about going! Lately several work colleagues and other people have asked why I'm going. I explain that I believe I will have life-long ties to this country if I adopt from Guatemala. I'm going because I want to know if I want to have life-long ties to this country, its people, its culture, its language, its way of being.

While I'm waiting for my divine peace, it feels like a divine opportunity to visit the country appeared before me.

Just like when I was waiting for divine peace to know that it was the right time to move to Phoenix, I'm waiting for my divine peace about adopting. It's not easy. It's sometimes difficult when you have well-meaning friends who ask, "why aren't you doing anything?" I think the most hateful thing I've heard is "you're not ever going to adopt because if you were, you would have done it by now."

When people ask why I'm not doing anything, I give my short answer ~ it doesn't feel right yet. The long answer...... that's just for me to know

Going to Guatemala

A few weeks ago some college friends sent email to let me know that they were going to Guatemala on a missions trip with their church.


WOW!

I asked if the group was full. It was.

Then, Jen emailed me to ask if I might be interested in going because someone had to drop out at the last minute!

OH YEA!

I'm leaving July 1. It's just for a week. I'm looking at it as a great way to know if I want to have life-long ties to the country (aka adopt a baby from there)

Woo hoo! A month from today I'll be in Guatemala!

Gratitude and Grace

For those of you who have wondered why I'm not posting lately, it's because I'm waiting for the right time to move forward. In every major decision of my life, I have waited for the day I wake up & know within every fiber of my being that it's time. I feel clear, focused, and do what I'm led to do. When I take action after that day happens, everything goes smoothly & quickly.

I'm grateful for the fabulous things happening in my life while I am waiting....

I'm grateful that I'm wrapping up work at one client and looking forward to the opportunities I will have with the time that will be available.

I'm grateful for friends who know me and know why I'm waiting for the right time to start the adoption process again. A couple of weeks ago I spent a day in silence. I completed a labyrinth and spent time in a meditation chapel & healing garden. When you spend that much time in silence, you truly do hear what you're intended to hear.

I'm grateful that my future children will know how much I love them. I'm grateful that they will understand why I chose to ensure my business is stable & secure before adding additional responsibility. As a single mom, it is vital that I am prepared financially for their arrival. After all, once they are here, they are my family forever!

I'm also demonstrating grace with people who either choose not to understand or who are ignorant of what single motherhood involves. I know that my life will be turned upside down once I have children. I'm looking forward to those changes even while I'm also scared witless.

Until my children are with me, I am going to go where I want, do what I want, and live as I want with joy, happiness, contentment, and excitement. After my children are with me, WE will go where we want, do what we want, and live as we want with joy, happiness, contentment, and excitement.