I Choose to Believe

It's been a tumultuous week. Tonight a friend of mine shared some good words:

The art of allowing is soothing yourself, coddling yourself if you will. It's talking with yourself the way you would soothe anyone that you love. It's reassuring yourself


I choose to believe there is an open door

I choose to believe there is an agency willing to work with me NOW to adopt from Guatemala

I choose to believe the agency that is MY agency is willing to allow me to foster in Antigua

I choose to believe that God is in control

I choose to feel calm and confident in my choices and decisions

I choose to allow the adversity swirling around other people to dissipate around me

I choose to believe that it will be smooth sailing once I get connected with MY agency

I choose to believe I am in the process of having all the money I need before I need it

I choose to believe my family is being created even as I type these words

I choose to believe I will live safely & happily in Antigua with my child while we are completing the adoption process

I choose to allow myself to move forward now, knowing all is well

Inflammatory Headlines

In case anyone has been following this story in the press, I wanted to post a statement from the director of the adoptive home in Guatemala:

Statement from Casa Quivira
August 14, 2007

We are shocked at the illegal police raid on Casa Quivira, and are working to make sure that the 45 children in our care continue to receive the high quality, professional care that we work so hard to provide.

Guatemalan authorities have accused Casa Quivira of operating an “illegal” orphanage (casa cuna clandestina), but we have worked under a cabinet-level approval since 1994 to legally and transparently process adoptions and to provide care for children while the adoptions are in progress. The children stay in a modern, clean facility where they are attended by experienced nannies and receive regular visits from pediatricians and a staff nurse is always on duty. Care ratio of nanny to baby is very low and each child is properly stimulated and monitored for growth as well as psycho-motor development. The children at Casa Quivira receive better care than the children in the surrounding communities, so we have also been working to build an out patient pediatric clinic that would provide basic medical care and vaccinations to children in need. We have built a strong reputation in our local community and enjoy the support of many of the families around the world that we have helped, which makes these accusations all the more painful for everyone involved with Casa Quivira.

I recognize that the US government has concerns about the way adoptions are processed by Guatemalan authorities. The reason so many parents come to us is because of our high standards for ensuring that every child’s adoption is handled in way that is fair and legal for the birthmother as well as the adoptive parents. From the time that birthmothers place their children in our care until the case is approved by the Guatemalan government birth mothers have several opportunities to change their minds. The birth mothers and the infants are required to twice undergo DNA testing at a facility approved by the US embassy. The actual sample testing is performed at a laboratory in the United States. All of this is to ensure that an infant is actually the birthmother’s child. The birthmother also undergoes a rigorous interview through the Family Court of Guatemala and the entire case is reviewed by the Solicitor General's Office (Procuraduria General de la Nacion) of Guatemala for final approval.

We maintain extensive files on each of the children in our care. All of the children’s documents, official certificates from the Guatemalan government regarding their adoptions, as well as the documents certifying Casa Quivira’s operations have been confiscated by the authorities. They have also taken the children’s medical records, which our doctors and nurses need to provide care to the children.

I do not know why the Guatemalan police decided to raid Casa Quivira and to malign our work and our staff. I do not understand why they fail to recognize or even mention that the statutes of Casa Quivira are duly recognized and approved by the Ministry of Government (Ministerio de Gobernacion) of Guatemala. All of us are deeply hurt by the accusations that we would in any way mistreat or neglect any of these children. We work hard to provide the very best care possible. We believe that our adoptions are conducted in a way that positively supports the people of Guatemala. We will continue to do our best to make sure that the children are well cared for and that their adoptions can be completed with as little delay as possible.

Attached you will find a copy of the Acuerdo Ministerial dated 27 December 1994 which was later published in the Diario Oficial, (the official Government Record of Guatemala) This Acuerdo approves the statutes of the institution of which Casa Quivira is a project to process adoptions and provide care for children while in adoption. This is a Government Ministry (Minsterio de Gobernacion) level approval and together with the statutes is furthermore registered with the Attorney General’s Office, the National Police and the Municipality of Antigua.

Clifford Phillips
Casa Quivira

Finally ready to talk about it

Here is a recap from Friday's conversation...

During Friday’s conversation, the first question the program director asked me is if I have considered other programs. I explained to her that I researched the other agency country programs, domestic adoption, and adopting from foster care. After all that, I still feel strongly that I want to adopt from Guatemala.

Then she talked about how risky it is to start the process now. Then she told me that since I’m a single woman, it could be difficult because most countries prefer two-parent families. She said the agency is always developing new programs, but as a single woman, I’d be eligible to adopt a 4-6 year old. I prefer a 0-3 year old, and I still prefer Guatemala. Then she asked me if I’m willing to spend the money for the homestudy and additional paperwork and possibly be told within the next two months that you aren’t starting any new cases.

I told her that I already feel like I’ve invested $3000 with your agency & I may never bring a child home as a result. If I spend another $2000, then I invested $5000 without a child. But, if there is a possibility that I can bring home my child from Guatemala, I wanted to take that risk.

Then we discussed the Hague implementation. I asked the program director the same question I asked my caseworker: can your agency ask the government to clarify its position in regard to the I-600A form being filed and the latest memo. The latest memo doesn’t say that it supersedes the original memo. We have two conflicting messages from our government about finalizing Guatemalan adoptions. I would think that your agency would have a way of asking for clarification so that we all feel more comfortable. From what I read and understand, the government has said that it will honor the adoption if my I-600A form is completed.

At that point, she said that she wanted me to speak with another director in your agency. I lost control of my emotions at that point. I have been asking for a clear “yes, you can start your paperwork now” or “no, you can’t start your paperwork now” for a month. I expressed my hurt, disappointment, and frustration because it feels as if they are stringing me along. It feels as if they are looking for ways to pass more time so that it is more difficult to complete the paperwork. At the end of the conversation, the program director said that a decision can’t be made that quickly and I needed to speak with someone else.

Okay, I had a meltdown after I hung up the phone. Then, I got angry about how I've been treated. I wrote a letter to their executive director and sent it via FedEx so it would arrive this morning. I sent it FedEx so I'd have a record that it was received.

This morning the program director and my caseworker called me at my work number (in spite of being told that the easiest number to call me is my cellphone). Thank God my assistant forwarded the call to my cell phone.

Bottom line is that they aren't comfortable starting a case. If I would be willing to switch countries, the fees I've already paid will apply to that adoption. My fees can also remain with them to be used in the future for a Guatemalan adoption.

I lost a month because of their lack of responsiveness. I am extremely frustrated. I recognize that they may not understand how difficult it is to hear “wait until next week to talk with someone else.”

Although I didn't want to switch agencies, I've already contacted several other agencies. They are still starting new cases. I'm going to do some research and make a decision quickly about what's next.

What I have to do to "start a case"

Several friends asked the same question I received in an anonymous comment yesterday:
Since this is the 8th of August and they won't start cases after the 31st, why won't they let you start? I am missing something obviously.

To start a new case, I have to have the following documents completed:

• 2 Notarized birth certificates
  
• Fingerprint card from the police
• Completed homestudy (a homestudy involves about 40 separate items)
• 1 Letter from police stating that I have no criminal background
• 1 Letter from my doctor stating that I'm in good health to raise a child to adulthood
• 1 Letter from my employer/accountant stating that I'm financially able to care for a child
• 2 witness letters that must be notarized (signed in front of a notary)
• 1 reference letter stating that I'm of good character to raise a child

All of those documents have to be certified within the state of Arizona and sent to Guatemala consulate in Los Angeles for legalization. Somewhere in the process I think the documents have to be translated to Spanish.

Oh, yeah... last one is a biggie to 'start a case' to adopt now. I have to have my immigration approval from the US government.

Now is it clearer why I might not be able to get everything done by August 31? And, the program director isn't talking with me until tomorrow.

Two things are still working in my favor.

I am in between projects so I have the time to do all these activities as long as other people (aka homestudy provider, police, notary, etc) can do what they need to do on my timetable.

I trust that if it's time, it will happen. After all, the door is still open since I haven't yet talked with the program director.

Okay, here's the scoop

Before my caseworker left for vacation last week, she asked the program director to call me. She left a detailed note to explain my situation and circumstances. She explained that I have the flexibility of potentially staying in Guatemala for a period of time during the adoption process because I can make remote work arrangements with my business. She explained that my heart was truly focused on Guatemala. Instead of calling me, the program director waited to talk with the caseworker about my situation. So, that's why the delay happened.

My agency is very concerned about being able to complete my adoption before the Hague is implemented in the US. They are also concerned about what they are hearing from the lawyers in Guatemala about changes within Guatemala. For those reasons, my agency is choosing not to start any new cases after August 31.

I understand and trust that my agency has my best interests at heart. I understand that they are trying to avoid heartbreak from being matched with a child and not being able to bring that child home to US.

Good news is that my caseworker understands where my heart is. Yesterday I explained to her that I have already been thinking about my "what if" contingencies again. When I think about switching to adopt from another country, I truly prefer Guatemala. When I think about a domestic adoption instead of an international adoption, I prefer Guatemala. When I think about adopting from the US foster care system, I prefer Guatemala.

She is going to insist that the program director speak with me directly. She believes if the program director understands who I am that it might be possible to start the paperwork now.

I'm focused on divine timing. If it is supposed to happen now, it will. If the program director still says I have to wait, I will look for other open doors.

Another voicemail

Before my caseworker left for her vacation last week, she said that I'd hear from the program director. When I didn't hear anything from the program director by Thursday of last week, I called and left voicemail.

I left another voicemail just now for my caseworker. I realize she's probably swamped today since she was out last week. I asked her to call me with an update - even if it's to let me know they are still discussing it.

I continue to remind myself that it's not about my timing. It's about divine timing.