Finally ready to talk about it

Here is a recap from Friday's conversation...

During Friday’s conversation, the first question the program director asked me is if I have considered other programs. I explained to her that I researched the other agency country programs, domestic adoption, and adopting from foster care. After all that, I still feel strongly that I want to adopt from Guatemala.

Then she talked about how risky it is to start the process now. Then she told me that since I’m a single woman, it could be difficult because most countries prefer two-parent families. She said the agency is always developing new programs, but as a single woman, I’d be eligible to adopt a 4-6 year old. I prefer a 0-3 year old, and I still prefer Guatemala. Then she asked me if I’m willing to spend the money for the homestudy and additional paperwork and possibly be told within the next two months that you aren’t starting any new cases.

I told her that I already feel like I’ve invested $3000 with your agency & I may never bring a child home as a result. If I spend another $2000, then I invested $5000 without a child. But, if there is a possibility that I can bring home my child from Guatemala, I wanted to take that risk.

Then we discussed the Hague implementation. I asked the program director the same question I asked my caseworker: can your agency ask the government to clarify its position in regard to the I-600A form being filed and the latest memo. The latest memo doesn’t say that it supersedes the original memo. We have two conflicting messages from our government about finalizing Guatemalan adoptions. I would think that your agency would have a way of asking for clarification so that we all feel more comfortable. From what I read and understand, the government has said that it will honor the adoption if my I-600A form is completed.

At that point, she said that she wanted me to speak with another director in your agency. I lost control of my emotions at that point. I have been asking for a clear “yes, you can start your paperwork now” or “no, you can’t start your paperwork now” for a month. I expressed my hurt, disappointment, and frustration because it feels as if they are stringing me along. It feels as if they are looking for ways to pass more time so that it is more difficult to complete the paperwork. At the end of the conversation, the program director said that a decision can’t be made that quickly and I needed to speak with someone else.

Okay, I had a meltdown after I hung up the phone. Then, I got angry about how I've been treated. I wrote a letter to their executive director and sent it via FedEx so it would arrive this morning. I sent it FedEx so I'd have a record that it was received.

This morning the program director and my caseworker called me at my work number (in spite of being told that the easiest number to call me is my cellphone). Thank God my assistant forwarded the call to my cell phone.

Bottom line is that they aren't comfortable starting a case. If I would be willing to switch countries, the fees I've already paid will apply to that adoption. My fees can also remain with them to be used in the future for a Guatemalan adoption.

I lost a month because of their lack of responsiveness. I am extremely frustrated. I recognize that they may not understand how difficult it is to hear “wait until next week to talk with someone else.”

Although I didn't want to switch agencies, I've already contacted several other agencies. They are still starting new cases. I'm going to do some research and make a decision quickly about what's next.