Let's see....
February is always a touch-and-go month for me. After surviving the Valentine's Day blues, I also deal with living through Feb. 21. I lost one of my closest friends to this horrifyingly awful disease called Primary Pulmonary Hypertension (PPH). The first few years after she died I just cried all day. Now I take the day off work and do whatever makes me happy.
Yesterday I got a manicure/pedicure and felt really pampered. I met a guy friend and we stayed at my favorite restaurant Oregano's for little over four hours. Then I went to an art show and spent some of my savings. Why did I buy an original Dina Farris Appel art piece instead of saving my money for a rainy day? Because every February 21 I live my life as if I'm not waking up the next day. My one sort-of regret from the day was that I didn't spend the rest of the day with my guy friend. He's a good kisser so he might be good at other things too.
I am self-employed, and I'm no longer enjoying the work I'm doing at my current client. Instead of b*tching about it here, I'll just say that I'm focused on getting more clients. Ultimately, more clients will create more security. In the meantime, I am trying to build my savings account so I can take care of myself and continue with the adoption if I decide to do that.
Some of the thoughts I've had include
- Maybe I'm not meant to be a wife and mom
- Maybe I ought to spend my money on remodeling my house
- Maybe I ought to travel around the world
- Maybe it isn't the right time to adopt
- Maybe it will never be the right time to adopt
- Maybe I should try to get pregnant the old-fashioned way and avoid all this BS paperwork
- Maybe it's too much to do this on my own
- Maybe I need to wait a little while longer so that I have more financial security to provide
What I'm doing during the day makes me money and doesn't make me happy.
Tomorrow I'm headed to Las Vegas with some girlfriends. Since I've never been to Vegas, it ought to be interesting!
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