As much as I want to adopt from Guatemala, I'm waiting. When I talked with the social workers last week about getting a homestudy done quickly, it became apparent that I was taking a big risk. I could have gotten the homestudy completed, but the state & federal approvals could have been a problem.
There was a tiny, tiny chance that I could finish the dossier to get it registered in Guatemala before the year ends. Part of that process is identifying an agency or attorney who would still give child referrals. Several agencies have stopped taking applications. Other agencies are only working with families AFTER they are paper-ready.
I didn't mind rushing the paperwork process. But, I kept thinking about what would happen if I did all that rushing and then no reputable agency would work with me even if I was paper-ready. There are other agencies and/or attorneys who would take my money, but I'm not sure they would be trustworthy either.
I'm not sure I'm strong enough to take the risk. Even one of my guy friends who is a big risk taker was concerned about me. When we talked this weekend, he said it just isn't worth the heartache if it doesn't work out. It would be painful financially, mentally, and emotionally.
Someone told me, "you have to go with your head on this one and not your heart." She's right unfortunately.
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Like I said in my last post to you, I have to agree that waiting is the best answer.
Hopefully you WILL be a mom someday soon, but it is becoming very apparent that your baby is just not in Guat.
Research other programs or maybe it's time to just sit back and think of the big picture and not think about a baby. Just like in high school (college? Am I dating myself now?) when we weren't looking for that boyfriend or girlfriend and they showed up, maybe by putting adopting on the back burner for now, the result will be a possibility that hasn't presented itself as of yet.
Best of luck.
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