Roller Coaster

I love to ride roller coasters! I love the excitement and the giddiness that builds in your stomach as you get locked into your seat. I love the adrenaline that goes through your body as the coaster starts its ascent. I love the absolute freedom of hurtling through space with the wind whipping through my hair.

Lately, however, I remember the very FIRST roller coaster ride I took with my dad. I wasn't even 10 years old, and the ride was the Screamin' Eagle in Six Flags Mid-America (St. Louis, MO).

We stood in line for at least an hour because it was THE newest, best roller coaster in the country. It might even have been closer to two hours. It just seemed like forever to me.

Periodically, Dad would say, "Honey, are you sure you want to do this?" Each time I would nod my head vigorously. "Oh, yes! I want to do this!"

When we got closer to the ride, I remember how much my stomach tightened. I was beginning to get scared, but I also was determined to be brave. I remember thinking that we had stood in line for all this time so I HAD to go through with it. I didn't want to disappoint my dad. I didn't want to be a scared little girl. It had taken a lot of begging & pleading for my dad to even agree to go on the ride.

As we filed into place, we were going to be in the front seat. (Side note: back then, you didn't get any choice about where you sat) By this time, I was really really really not sure I knew what I was doing, but I kept telling myself that I had my dad with me.

When they locked the safety bar in place, I locked my arms around my dad's arm for protection. I think he was just as nervous as I was.

By the time our coaster was climbing the hill for the first drop, I was totally silent. I remember saying to myself, "what were you thinking??"

I shut my eyes the entire time.

I couldn't handle it.

I was in over my head, and I knew it.

As we were leaving the ride, they gave us buttons that said I'm no chicken! I flew the Screamin' Eagle!

My dad looked like a ghost. I said, "Let's do it again! This time I'll keep my eyes open."


This week I'm feeling the same way I felt while I was in line for the Screamin' Eagle.

I'm not sure I can start this process now.

I'm not sure I want to wait either because there's a possibility that Guatemala will prohibit singles from adopting when it implements the Hague.

I'm no chicken, and I do have my eyes open.

I just don't know if I'm getting on the ride now
or waiting a little bit longer...