Today I talked with my case manager at my agency. She seems to be a fun, optimistic person who wants her families to be prepared for anything. I trust her judgement and appreciate her honesty during today's conversation.
One of the first things she said that really struck home: "You should guard your heart through this process because your child is only your child when you're on the plane going home."
When we talked about the Hague treaty situation, she was cautious with her words. She said that the US decision to honor any adoption in process as long as the I-600A form is filed is only half the equation. She is unsure how Guatemala will react if/when the US starts following the Hague requirements. She said I need to proceed with caution and be prepared for anything. Talking about the worst case scenarios helps me manage my expectations.
What that means is that she's encouraging her families to do everything they can as quickly as they can. She also asked me to have a second country in mind in case Guatemala is closed (that's adoption-speak for "we are no longer able to help you adopt children from that country")
My initial reaction is feeling more pressured to have all the money earlier than I planned and do everything "yesterday". I realize I can also evaluate if there's another country. Or, keep going at my pace and trust everything will fall into place.
For now, I am choosing option 3: keep going at my pace and trust everything will fall into place.
I told my case manager today that I have stopped thinking about a timetable. I realized that I didn't want to hope for my baby to be home by a certain date or holiday because I didn't want to be disappointed. It's going to take as long as it takes.
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I'd probably encourage you to get your paperwork in if Guatemala is really the country you wish to adopt from. Believe me, there is plenty of "waiting time" after the dossier is submitted. But, I like your outlook.
I think the process gets harder when you have a picture. You mind/emotions start changing... you start bonding and actual seeing yourself as a mother, yearning more and more to be with, not just a "referral" but "your baby". I don't know if you can really protect your heart in reality, but it is good to be aware of different options should things proceed as expected.
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